pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize