i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Randomize
