You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
