Where did you get a picture of my penis
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Randomize
