was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
