she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
