he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
