I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
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