Me too!
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
