We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
