He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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