I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
In other news, I just burned my penis
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Randomize
