I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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