So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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