bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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