she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
