So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
