ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
