ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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