i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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