Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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