she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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