Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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