NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
