How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
