Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
