I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize