It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
