i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
