Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize