It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
