When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
