She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
