Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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