Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
