Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
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