i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Randomize
