ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
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