so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
