I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
