i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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