It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
So vagazzling was a success
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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