If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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