Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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