I need help removing her.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
