This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
