If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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