WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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