There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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