How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
smell my finger.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
