i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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