She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
