Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
There are leaves in my underwear?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
