I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
