my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize