I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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