just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
