I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
