I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
what day is it and did you see me today?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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