I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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