I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
