You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
