Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
