did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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