I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
