I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
