thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
