It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
