I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
