what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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