I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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